The Power of Presence: How Doula support transforms the birth experience

 By Bonnie Stack @Bonnie.Norfolk.Doula, Founder of @great.birth.club 

When we think back to our births, we don’t just remember the moment the baby was born, or the logistics of how it happened. We remember the whole experience, the atmosphere and the emotions. When I think of my births, I remember the soft lighting and soothing voices. The sense that, even as things grew intense, I wasn’t alone. I had people around me who believed in me, trusted me, and reminded me to trust myself.

That’s the magic of birth support. And it’s why I became a doula.

Over the years, I’ve seen birth in so many forms; raw, messy, euphoric, transformative, vulnerable and powerful. Every birth is different, but one thing is always true: having the right support can completely change how it feels.

Why Doulas Make a Difference

A doula isn’t there to take over. We don’t make medical decisions or tell anyone what to do, and we don't “deliver” babies. What we do is hold the space for you; supporting you practically, physically and emotionally, so you can step fully into your own power.

I’ve watched women experience labour in many places, including delivery rooms, birth rooms, bedrooms, and bathrooms, and what I have observed is universal. When a mother feels safe, supported, and centered, her body responds. She turns inwards, breathes deeper. She relaxes more and is able to surrender to the birth. Labour often progresses more smoothly. And even if plans change, she walks away with a stronger sense of being in control of her journey.

The research backs this up: doulas are linked with shorter labours, less intervention, and higher satisfaction. But honestly? The statistics don’t capture it. The look on someone’s face after an empowered birth... that’s the real evidence for me.

What I’ve Witnessed as a Doula.

I’ve held hands and hips through contractions that felt impossible, whispered words of reassurance when doubt crept in, and laughed with new parents moments after they met their baby, so elated that they 'can't wait to do it again!' 

I’ve noticed the difference between the stories I hear of a woman left to cope on her own, and one who has a steady, loving presence reminding her she is stronger than she knows. 

I’ve seen partners transform, too. A doula doesn’t replace them, we lift them up! Imagine anxious dads stepping into their role with confidence when they realise they don’t have to “know it all.” They just have to love, to hold, to be present. And I’m there in the background, making sure they feel supported too.

My Own Births, My Why.

At home, during my own first labour, I remember feeling primal, leaning into the instinctive wisdom of my body. I knew I had it in me to bring my baby into the world. But I also remember the wobbles and fragility. The “I can’t do this” moments, when I needed someone to remind me it was okay to surrender, that I was safe. 

I got that reminder. I was held in love and belief. And it carried me through the most intense and challenging experience I've ever had.

Second time around, with the same doula by my side, I floated, eased, softened, and breathed through the ecstatic birth I knew was available to me. it was physically intense, but I had utter trust and faith in my body and my baby which allowed me to surrender completely, welcome and embrace every sensation. 

Those experiences didn’t just give me my babies. They gave me a passion to walk alongside others as they discover their strength in birth. First I supported my friends, travelling across the country when summoned by the women I held dearly, then as my confidence grew, the sense of knowing that I was meant to be in the birth room did too. I've now witnessed many births, and am always in awe of the strength and power of a woman giving birth.

The Benefit That Can’t Be Measured

So yes, doulas can help with relaxation, reduce stress hormones, and improve outcomes, through presence, advocacy, information sharing and physical, practical and emotional support. How great is that!? But the deeper truth is this: a doula helps you remember that birth belongs to you. 

Feeling great about your birth isn't about being “perfect.” or achieving a particular type of birth. It’s about feeling grounded, heard, and supported in one of life’s most transformative, vulnerable moments.

And I see time and time again, that changes everything.

If you’re curious about how a doula could support your birth, whether at home or in hospital, I’d love to chat. Every journey is unique, and every woman deserves to feel held through it. 

Bonnie Stack book a free discovering call

Insta: @Bonnie.Norfolk.Doula, founder of @great.birth.club