First time Mum Chloe: from terrifed & considering elective caesarean to calm & empowered water birth

This is my first baby and the thought of labour terrified me. I have never been known for coping with pain well and the thought of an elective c section played on my mind continuously. 

After joining free online hypnobirthing classes and reading the ‘Make your birth better’ by Siobhan Miller. I had an idea of the techniques I could use, tools to help with pain and how important mindset was. As much as it sounds like I got my shit together. Normal life gets in the way and I took ages to finish the book, had to reread a lot of chapters and reframe my mind from negative to positive so many times.

On day before I gave birth, I was running a bath as I had really bad back pain. I went to the toilet and realised my mucus plug had come away and as I got up to tell my partner, my waters broke. I had three little gushes and had no control so I knew it wasn’t wee but was still unsure. I rang the hospital and they said I could stay at home or come up to check. I decided to have a bath and then come up. When we were there, they confirmed it was my waters breaking and that if there was no progress, they would induce me in the next 24 hours. 

We were excited that we were going to have our baby very soon but I was nervous as I really didn’t want to be induced and there were no contractions at the moment. We tried to have a normal evening as it may be a long process now with the possible induction. We went to bed and I had light cramping the whole time that I was trying to sleep through! It got to about 2am where they got more intense and frequent so that’s when I started to count the contractions with an app called ‘Freya’. From 2-3am my contractions were getting more intense and coming every 3-4 minutes. The app kept notifying me that I was in established labour, I was in denial and wasn’t sure if I was timing it correctly because I couldn’t believe how sudden and quick it was. I decided to have a bath to help ease the pain but by 5am it was coming very quickly to the point I wasn’t timing it so we decided to go up to the hospital. When we got to the hospital, they checked me and I was 2cm dilated and was put into our own room to wait until it was active labour. I was told they wouldn’t check me until 4 hours' time because of risk of infection and I knew we could be in this room for a long time. My partner had brought my stuff from the car into the room so set up something to watch and had my snacks to hand, but my body couldn’t settle. I couldn’t find a comfy position and I kept feeling the urge to go to the toilet! I started to use my orbs to help redirect my attention to something else and focus on my breathing as my contractions were coming very quickly. I was given paracetamol and I had told the midwife I wasn’t getting a break in between contractions. She said that I wouldn’t get a break until I had the baby and didn’t quite get that I really wasn’t having more than 30 seconds before next contraction would come! A couple of hours later, it became so intense I threw up and I knew I needed to be checked. The midwife confirmed I was 5cm and ready to be moved to another room! She asked if I wanted to go to the birth centre or if I was thinking about having an epidural and to go on the Labour ward. 

I was absolutely petrified to make this decision as if anyone knows me knows I’m so indecisive but I knew I needed to make this decision myself and what I truly wanted was a pool birth. So, I got wheeled down to the birth centre and I was introduced to the midwives helping me to deliver. The room was absolutely beautiful, really dim lights and projector lights on the ceiling, the water filling the pool and lots of space! My midwife Emily who I will never ever forget noticed I was clearly very worried and asked if I was okay. This is when I really offloaded how scared I was and that I didn’t know if I made the right decision to not have the epidural! She reassured me that I’m half way there and that I already done so well with little to no pain relief and that it’s all within me. 

35 minutes after being in the room I was given gas and air and Emily had asked for my birth plan to read and if I had any music to play. The experience felt already so much more manageable and I felt calmer. I was still using the orbs alongside the gas and air and for me this was the perfect mix when things were getting more intense! Especially when you just want to squeeze something and a hand isn't enough! Just ten minutes after being given gas and air I had a sudden urge to push and like nothing would stop it! The sudden change of pain was surreal and I knew it was time! With their disbelief I was indeed 10cm dilated and ready to get in the pool. I still used my orbs in the pool and between the midwives and my partner they kept handing me the orbs when I would let go naturally from the break of the contraction! On my last couple of pushes my midwife had rolled a towel and held the ends and encouraged me to pull onto the towel! I did this with the orbs still in the palm of my hands. I was pushing for an hour and 20 minutes before my precious girl was born and I was able to lift her from the water onto my chest! Her cord was very short so ruptured and I had a haemorrhage so an emergency button was pressed to help me! The experience after may have sounded and looked quite scary but my midwife who had clearly really read my birth plan well knew I just need some calmness and reassurance. This was given to me the whole time and I just looked over at my partner and baby having skin to skin and knew I was in safe hands. Just ten minutes later my baby was with me again and I tried to breastfeed her. An hour later I was checked internally and for tears and amazingly I had just a first-degree tear but didn’t need stitches! I was really supported and looked after by the midwives on the postnatal ward, so even that experience was a positive one. The next day we were able to take our precious girl home with us and really start our new journey! If we are ever so lucky to have another baby, I now know what works for me and will invest much more time into hypnobirthing and a home birth is definitely on the cards!